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TALKIN BOXIN
by Howie Reed
December 21, 2003
As the ex-wife once said, “you’re going to have to
trust me.” Great way with words she had. The trust
here will involve trusting me not to write some
maudlin Christmas column that starts “Twas the night
before Christmas and all through the house not a
creature was stirring expect for the Pay-per-view
guys that Arum and King had hired for Santa’s arrival
for those that couldn’t be there in person.” You also
have to trust me that I’m not going to do the silly
“under the Christmas Tree” but that most do. If I
didn’t have such high standards you’d read stuff like that.
Will though toss in a little history here. Gosh darn
good thing that I’m here or you’d never learn the
following.. The credit for inventing the term
“pay-per-view” goes to Bob Hosfeld who at the time was the General sales
Manager for KNTV in San Jose,
California. Now you may wonder, or you may not care
but as you don’t have a vote I’ll continue, how I know
this fact? Well Bob and I both graduated from San
Jose State with degrees in radio and TV. He became
famous and the rest is as they say, “History.” I’m
holding off on the “Fame” deal. Worth waiting for…or
so I’m told.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the
land families were gathering together for the Holiday.
Meanwhile in Las Vegas the number one boxing writer in the world was sitting
high atop Sam Boyd Stadium
covering the Las Vegas Bowl Football between the
MIGHTY OREGON STATE BEAVERS and the lowly New Mexico lobo’s (a lobo being a
low class wolf, a mongrel, a misfit.)
It’s been quoted that the head of the Bowl
Committee “Ms Tina-Hyphenated-Something” has indicated that “this will be
our largest crowd ever.” Ms. Tina “Hyphenated” Something is full of bull.
Let’s put this in perspective as if it were a fight card. What does this
game bring in terms of tourism to Las Vegas. This is the slow time of the
year.
Although with Hanukah past that will help. First
we have OREGON STATE UNIVERSITY. A school located in Corvallis, Oregon. It
is a old fashion town with old fashion ideas. The students, for the most
part, are the same. Where are they going to be on Christmas Eve? With
their families?.
Having New Mexico here again from Albuquerque,
NM means that 7/11’s and AM/PM’S will do a booming business along the
interstate. “Twill be a line of peakups and campers as far as the eye can
see.” Now to use a line that I’ve been dying to use
for “many moons”. (Little injun lingo there.) “Having
New Mexico in the Las Vegas Bowl is just great. “They either eat at a
AM/PM or rob it.” What does Howie Reed know about football ? Well let me
ask, “What does Howie Reed know about Boxing ?” Gotja there.
Wladimir Klitschko (42-2), getting into the ring for
the second time since losing his WBO (Yawn) title to
Corrie Sanders, got a TKO at 1:44 of round 4 over
Danell Nicholson (42-5). The fight held in Wladimir’s
adopted country of Germany was a fight that all
American TV networks passed on and with good reason. There was some
hype prior to the fight that Nicholson was on a three fight win streak. He
was against Ken Murphy ( W TKO 2), Sione Asipeli (UD 6) and Melvin Foster
(TKO 4). Talk about a present under the tree. This wasn’t even a
stocking stuffer. The win , by boxing logic which some consider an oxymoron,
now positions Klitscho for a title fight against Lemon
Brewster. Klutschko says, “I am ready”. I say “Who
cares ?” Be still my baby heart.
Danny Green is a interesting fellow who stole a
present away from Canadian Eric Lucas. Green is 30 but only in his second
year for playing with the “pay for
pay guys” In that time, before Saturday night, he had
a record of 16-1. The only blemish came in a
“disputed” fight with WBC Super middle Champ Markus Beyer in the latter’s
home stomping grounds of the friendly former Third Reich.
In that fight Green had Beyer down twice but
also got penalized for headbutts twice. Score even except that “according to
the referee” the second butt cause so much damage to Meyer that he couldn’t
continue so Green got DQ’s. Saturday night in Montreal Green battered the
more experienced and ex champ Eric Lucas from “pillar to post.” In the 6th
with Lucas against the ropes, Green launched his final assault that left
Lucas on one knee unable to continue as the bell rang. Green will et his
Christmas present a little late, February 28th to be exact, when he gets a
re match with Beyer. Saturday night he got the “Interim” title. Why Interim
? No idera. Ask the good Dr. Sulaiman..
“William Joppy gave himself a present under the
evergreen.” After getting his faced hammered like the
kneading of pizza dough to collect a $50,000 side bet
with Hopkins, that he’d go the full 12, he said, "I
ain't fighting no more. That's it man. I had a good
career. I was a world champion. I'm not real motivated
for it no more." As a boxing fan I would hope that
this is a present that just keeps on giving. Nor will
I write that under John “The Boring Man’s” Ruiz’s
tree is a gift that’s says “don’t open until April 12.
Inside ? A big old whamping big eraser that will
eliminate the word “interim” from the title Interim
WBA Heavyweight Champion. The present comes into play if Roy Jones doesn’t
fight him by then. Heck Jones has already beat him once. But you will read
non of the Christmas stuff in this column.
What you also won’t read is some long winded (member shorter columns for the
Holiday season) “What I want for Christmas.” The list would be way too long
although a football game on Christmas Eve is a good start. Also what do you
give a man or women that has nothing but superb intelligence, sparking whit,
good looks, is always right, an authority on everything and literary ability
that is unmatched. Not that I know
such a person, I just wondered what the heck you’d
give him or her. Well yes in the case of “her” is was
half of everything. Of course if you don’t have
anything, half isn’t a bad deal. I know one thing
that dam sure won’t be under the tree or you can not
ask for. (“Howard how many times have I told you,
“never end a sentence with a preposition? “ About a
million Ms. Finke”, oh how I hated that women. Of
course not knowing what a preposition was made no
“ending a sentence with one” difficult.) Don’t ask for
a Sugar Shane Mosley's-Ricardo Mayorga March 13
pay-per-view. That idea went to the “little house out
back with the crescent on the door and the Sears
catalogue which is used for dual purposes.”
Corn cobs are passé.
Last week I mentioned that referee Tony Orlando did
Mayorga no favors by taking away two points that had
he not done so would have resulted in a draw and the
March 13 fight with Shane “The Shy” Mosley an ongoing event. I also had to
get a plug in for the “real” Tony Orlando and his co workers Dawn. (I once
met Tony Orlando at an Oakland A’s baseball game against the Yankees.
Brother Hughes now a super scout with the Cubs and a VP got the tickets. He,
Tony not Brother Hughes, sat right next to me. He said that he had just had
his biggest thrill, that was before he sat next to me, he has staying at the
Oakland Hilton. While there he visited the bar when he met Mickey
Mantle. “I got his autograph on a cocktail napkin”. Orlando was proud
of his treasure. Nice guy. But I digress). My mention of the fight and
Orlando elicited this response. “Tie a ribbon around the old oak tree yea
that about sums it up.
Dawn could have done a better job at refereeing.
Not trying to take anything away from Spinks he fought a smart fight. Not
the style that I am going to pay to watch but effective all the same. Not
wanting to ramble yea I do, The ref sucked that's it!!!!!! The ref is there
to keep it even no advantage to anyone!! So I can bitch at some one when the
guy I like loses. From a fight a few
weeks back the ref is there so the fighter can wipe
his Bleeding eye on his shirt. Be there do your job
and keep the hell out Of the way The card from
Atlantic City was not bad it would have been better
for boxing.”
Those comments were the record until while listening
to Television with “no pitchers” I heard a local
“expert” extol the virtues of Tony Orlando the
Referee. “He did an excellent job. Fact is he couldn’t
have taken more points away. In the end it didn’t make
any difference.” Oh contraire’ my man. It made a big
difference. As noted if Orlando doesn’t take away the
two points then it’s a draw and the Mayorga-Mosley
fight is “good to go.” Now having these two differing
views placed me in a “Vinny”. (Named after My Cousin
Vinny.) Do I believe the gentleman originally from
Scotland where it’s what’s under the kilt that may
account for the popularity of their fine single malt
or do I go with the local self proclaimed expert ?
What to do. I’ll go with the guy who’s prom date
probably went on to become a Burberry scarf and
Sunday dinner at Grandma’s.
I remember the “wipe the blood from a cut on in the
shirt” deal. That was Steve Smooger who is a walking,
talking , training tape about how not to work a fight.
I loved it in another fight when he was explaining,
during the fight, how a fighter could keep his
mouthpiece in. “Bite down……bite down.” Those of course were the same words
that I use when Smooger is in the ring. As good pal in England says, “he is
diabolically bad.” What Smooger didn’t realize cause he wasn’t doing
his job was that the boxer kept spitting his mouthpiece out cause he was
getting his butt kicked and wanted to get the heck out of the ring.
I’m starting to get the “really RA” over these
assorted sportscaster’s and assorted political pundits
(of course this is nothing new) that fall in love with
a “word” use it incorrectly and then preen like a
“peacock” (Peahens don’t preen. They are also the less colorful than the
male. True fact.) These two words are right up there with “No Way”. First
example is “sense” Now we all know that means either “sagacity” or “what do
you know ?” Why the hell don’t you say so. “Mr. Mayoroga what is your
sense of the problem with your fight last Saturday Night ?” “No comprende."
Well of course he “no comprende””. He might
“comprende” if you’d just ask the dam question. Now
let’s get to “issue’s”. “He has issue with substances
” Translation into English? He’s either a drunk or a
doper. “He is doubtful for Sundays game as he has
“issue’s” with his leg.” The friggin leg has an
injury. The leg hurts. “North end of a horse going
south.” Always good to vent a little spleen during the
holiday season. But sometimes you have to join’em just for the sake of being
a good guy. “Johnny Tapia,
former multi champ, one has the sense has a issue with some form of drug.
He’s back in the hospital. One also has the sense that Mike Tyson’s issues
with a New York court as he’ll be back in it sometime early in the New Year.
One would have the sense that I have an issue with writing this way. They be
“dead spot on.”
Many in boxing, mostly fan, want to know why the big
fights aren’t on regular TV. I consulted with my
“professional source ” but got nary an answer. You
hear promoters bragging about 500,000 homes for a
fight. The question is how does this equate to over
the counter TV. Well folks it don’t. One rating point
nationally equates to about 1.5 million homes. That’s
a guess by the President of Sales for a rather
“imposing new TV sales company.” Well that’s what he
told me to say. So if a PPV guy is bragging that he
did 500,000 homes that’s 1/2 a rating point. Let’s say
that the cost of the PPV was $50.00 to the viewer of
which half of that goes to the promoter for costs. His
500,000 ppv would generate $12.5 million dollars. Why
would “over counter TV” pay $12.5 million for ½ a
rating point when for about the same amount they’d get
Friends (to say nothing of Jennifer Aniston’s
bodacious ta ta’s. Allow me to digress here a little
more if that’s possible. I went in the new “factory
outlet” in Las Vegas. In it is a Ralph Lauren. Knowing
that on Friends Rachel Green (Jennifer) works at
Lauren I went in. Actually found something. When I got
to the counter a lady sales assistant said, “Did you
find everything you wanted ?” “No really.” “Oh” “I’d
hoped to find Jennifer Aniston.” “I’m new here this
must be her day off.”. Now working on a new movie
script. “Clueless in Vegas”. The story of a sales
assistant in the Ralph Lauren Store in Las Vegas.)
Where was I ? And rating of 20 plus. They won’t and
don’t. care about boxing as viable programming. Cause
? It ain’t. Case closed.
It’s not always good to get what one asks for. Example? Paris Hilton wanted
a video camera. That didn’t turn out the way she’d planned. Shane Mosley has
been making sounds (he has a sense) that he’s worth $12.5 million to fight
Oscar for the third time. “Surely you jest?” Here’s a case where Mosley has
a “sense” that is nonsense. One of the good guys Mr. Shane needs a reality
check as Oscar doesn’t need him for a 20 million dollar payday. Heck Oscar
could get that for “To Be Announced”. Pay-per-view loves Oscar. Did you ever
wonder where the term “pay-per-view” came from? Sure you did, don’t
lie. Why wasn’t it called something else? Does anyone out there know who
gets credit for inventing the term?
Now under the tree is the thanks for all those folks
in the world of boxing that provide the stories that I
have fun with each week. To those in the sport like
Hedgman, Vaia, Johnny B, Lee, Jack (The great writer), AJ and his lovely
wifey Ann, my correspondents in England “MIA” Joe and “The Telly Star” Phil
Jones, Bill Major who always has a comment or 50, Mr.Lowe in England,
Scottish Dave an up and coming prize fighter, Patrick the Flying Frog of
Pattaya, not to forget OD, Yo Bro Hughes & Stu, my pals in the land of
“Ah’s” Scotty & Cahtrine, my pal The Dick from Philly, Monkey House Fred,
the Radioguy who proved to be one hell of a creative writer recently as well
as a great taker of pitchers, to Mary and Patty two lady’s that add class to
the sport, to editor Sue “Tender Loving Care” Fox for putting up with me, to
my special pal J’Mo (what a piece of work that lady is. A one of a kind
treasure), to Bangkok BJ and Phuket’s Mr. Brook, from Sweden my pal “The fat
Swede”, to the original Vic Old Rugged Cross who remembers the good old days
of boxing in Southern California, to Lisa Kim and that husband of hers
(Smitty) who married above himself, The Pocket Rocket Wayne McCullough the
best of the
best, to old pal Bary Tompkins the best dan
sportscaster in the business and finally to many
boxing officials who’s names I won’t mention so as to
not toss a monkey wretch into their credibility
during the Holiday Season. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL. THAT
INCLUDES HAPPY NEW YEAR.
AND FINALLY from my pal Babs. In answer to the oft
heard quote about a man getting married, “Why buy the cow when you’re
getting the milk free.” The lady’s
answer ? “Why buy the pig when you can get the little
sausage for free.” Or how about this? Have you heard what the troops
are calling the Sikorsky Blackhawk helicopter that flew Hillary around
Iraq?......"Broomstick One" God bless our troops and their sense of
humor..... That’s a wrap for 2003 see you on the other side.
(Opinions and editorials of
HotBoxingNews.com is the opinion of those writers and may not be the
opinion of HotBoxingNews.com)
Want to make contact or comments to Howie Reed
Go Here! mailto:reed@hotboxingnews.com
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